Vanitas

Beyond the mirror's thin gleam
A shadow wherein a question is poised.
The light describing existence - a veil,
The clang of life - the sounding of a bell,
Echoing briefly in greater silence.

Turning At The Round

Turning at the round I went down
The same dark street I'd gone before;
A detour southwards, away
From the eastward angle I sought.
On my right tall buildings hide
The beach, to my left a tangle
Of small streets I've wandered through.
Returning to the round recall
Here I missed the route before and
Now pause puzzled; it must be there
Just before me, go on, and right.
Indeed this was the street, to note;
Take the left before the circle,
Not after, and on my way home
Reflect on repeated mistakes.

An Actor And A Poet

How did you do this magic trick,

How you so touched and wakened me,

That when I think of your blue eyes

I see the endless starry skies.

Of your ineffable giving

Wonder - an actors' performance,

A singer singing a song, playing

All your heart to all around.

My dear, I know, I do it too,

With pen and paper, in a poem.

We've the gift of giving ourselves,

In spite of ourselves sometimes.

Hold On

Shadow regrets flying in your face,

Ancient fears stirring it up in there.

I'm taking no shit, enough of this,

You're testy, on edge, tend to shout.

The demons are dancing now, my dear.

I toss at night with something unclear,

Sweat, cry, crack, tussle, and moan.

You can't sleep, too hot, you've got an itch,

Something is knocking around your head.

The demons are dancing now, my dear.

Got you by the throat, twist an arm,

Lay a low one in your gut, bend you.

Take a breath, take heart and purpose,

Hold on, we are going to win this.

The demons are dancing now, my dear,

Easy now, one on one, we'll take them,

Clear as day, clear as a bell, in time.

Indigo Dream

Sailing the deep blue dream,
Singing last liberty,
Only indigo dream.

No earthly care and toil
To grind me to the ground.
Only a ship, the sea
And me, my companion
The wind, and endless sky,
Bound for no port or home.

Sailing the deep blue dream,
Singing last liberty,
Alone indigo dream.

No more loving for me,
Too many times my heart
Broken, love left behind.
My mistress is the sea,
Carried upon her waves,
My vessel on her breast.

Sailing the deep blue dream,
Singing last liberty,
Lonely indigo dream.

Down and out survivor,

Long had I resisted.

Peace then a distant dream

Only, a surrender

Denied, longed for, the blue

Sea of serene release.

Sailing the deep blue dream,
Singing last liberty,
Only indigo dream.

Riches

Seated with casual superb

Before me on an orange throne,

His nobility worn and scarred,

Was one with the riches I sought.

I followed him through depravity,

In equilibrium fell not.

I followed him through violence,

Learned to strike, and to roll it off

As beating rain rolls off a leaf.

I followed him through sorrow's pain,

Broke my heart again and again.

Still I followed, through endless nights,

And through despicable ruin.

He spoke of his freedom attained

In prison; it's trace shining through

The walls and bars he keeps within,

Saw his mortal contradiction.

All that he scattered I gathered

Along the tortuous route.

I was unable to convince him,

He is still there, in argument.

Now I've my riches, my freedom.

Refuge

Remember the hill and forest, when young –

The green, the nightingale, colored perfumes,

Your native sky, your realm, not to be touched.

Come to me, battle-scarred and weary one.

Lay down your weapons, remove your armor,

Let me touch you - a breeze rustles the leaves.

Take my hand, adventure in the perfect

Wilderness of your hill, copse, thicket and

Sun struck clearings, take me to your refuge.

Battle-worn and lonely warrior, closer,

Lay down your arms and take me, take me there.

Breathe the green, the colored perfumes, taste peace

Sweet as spring water, the nightingale sings.

Recovery

Taking the sun like a convalescent

Walk myself along the cliff, high above

The glittering sea, thundering surf.

So calm, so quiet, an eternal smile,

I'm perfectly alright. A broken heart

On the mend, patient and distracted.

I'll enjoy the sunset, admire the moon,

My brave recovery, in agony.

Pressing

Pressing a question against the future
Wondering, as I always do, what will be;
What we will cook tonight,
Then, will you be awake when I get up,
Your eyes lit from the night, in the morning light.
Our days stretch, tumble, disordered, humored.
And I press a question again, again
Silently, in the quiet garnered from
The edges of our time spent together.
Through a long narrow window I look out,
Particularly when there's fading gold.
I am looking for the future to come
In from the withdrawing day.
Tonight you will be awake while I sleep
In bed struggling with the empty side.
Along with our morning coffee I garner
Touches, breathe loving looks over you, let
Desire sigh for one moment, pass over,
To this or that, pass the time, and wonder.
I'm always wondering, you know, silently,
Pressing a question against the future.

Comrade In Arms

Comrade in arms, on the field of defeat

I salute you as we part ways.

One battle lost, another

Defeat to put behind us,

Is not the end, we have eternity to win.

Impressed as I am by you salute

Your resistance, grit and grace, though

The wounds you suffered laid you low.

So seeing in you my own distress

I fought for you as for myself,

My own long and lonely battles,

Saw through you I'm a fighter too.

More my hero than I would admit,

Comrade in arms, I salute you.

Rose and Iris

Would you give me a rose,

Let it be a white rose,

No red roses for me.

A simple white rose,

No American Beauty.

Of gracious bowing branch,

Of tender petals few,

Of truer sweeter scent,

A simple white rose.

I prefer the iris,

Though, over any rose.

Iris leaves are keen blades,

Clasping a proud straight stem,

High held each spear point bud

Unfurling blooms in turn

Of elegant panache,

A flower for a queen;

Thoughts flourish sentiment.

Sailing Troubled Sleep

Sailing the ocean of the night,

Through storms of strange dreams holding course.

My arm clasped about you, drift then

Tack, close haul, reduce sail, pull in

Your back to me, my belly

To your butt, my leg laid over yours,

At stern the caress of a foot.

Your arm thrown back along my side,

Momentary thrust of a hip,

Then you shift, sleeping face to me,

Trim the hull, point of sail to broad,

Arms folded up against your chest.

My hand on the dip of your waist,

Arm draped cross the lull between us.

Thigh upon thigh, knee bent between,

Reaching, trim the sails to the wind,

Your arm around me, bring me in,

Sailing a troubled sea of sleep.

Bars

One more drink, and one more cigarette;

One more, and one more thing to say.

One more day, and one more night like this,

Always one more, you say, and more;

A tiger pacing in a cage,

One more pass inside the bars, and

Turning, pacing, pace, pass again.

Again the same story, with no end,

One more drink, one more cigarette,

One more, and one more thing to say.

One more day, one more night like this,

A life spent, imprisoned, in bars,

One more drink, one more cigarette.

Dangerous

We will dance through depravity,

Laugh at consternation.

We will not bow down to idols,

Here to overturn them;

We are gods, the world ours.

We are out on the town tonight,

And we are dangerous.

We are here after our desires,

With no fear to stop us,

And for our pleasure generous.

We shall play with power,

Spread confusion with illusion.

We are out on the town tonight,

And we are dangerous.

Perversity, the fatal twist,

Is our weapon of choice.

And we brook no argument against

Our hateful arrogance;

We claim defiance to the end.

We are out on the town tonight,

And we are dangerous.

With no hope or faith or reason,

We have only our doom.

And our diversion's aftermath

Is hollow as our hearts;

We are gods who lost their world!

We are out on the town tonight,

And we are dangerous.

Wishing Star

I hang a little star in the heavens,

Trembling little prayer, of hopeful light.

A wink in your black night, you ancient soul.

When you draw the dark around you, lonely,

Seeing what you have left, just a hard street,

Wherever you are, may a ray reach you.

You said, 'have a good life,' I wish it

For you as well for I, as I let go

A little prayer, hopeful light hanging,

A trembling little star in the heavens.

Utah Girl

to Jeanne

I am a Utah girl, of desert winds,

Hiking ochre foothills wild with scrub oak,

Heat thrumming with the locust's summer song.

In the wide expanse of the valley fields

Horses bend their heads, swish their tails, the sun

Gleams on their graceful backs and high grasses.

Cottonwood trees tall and shaggy shadow

A shallow stream slipping on rounded stones,

In a quiet pool flit water skaters

On ripples of earth, stone, leaf, and bluest

Sky, spread wide above the Rocky Mountains.

There I climb up piney trails to meadows

Of brilliant green and blooming wild flowers.
The Indian Paintbrush's flame of red,

Lupine of deepest blue, shining yellow

Buttercups, and tiny pink-edged daisies.

From here the peak rises craggy and gray,

Snow on the ragged ridge, in crevices,

Nestling on the shaded northern slope,

Where courses a narrow waterfall straight

To a profound lake, boulders rounding it,

The waters crystal clear, deep down to black.

Into this water cold as snow I leap

With a laugh and a shout; just keep moving,

And the swimming is great, and the beauty.

Song Of Farewell

I'm singing a song of farewell,

Light and sweet and gay.

Goodbye, my dear, freedom is here,

Farewell on your way.

Light and sweet and gay I sing to

Wipe the tears away.

There now, hush my heart, freedom's here,

It's another day.

The dishes are done, the floor swept clean,

A beautiful day,

The laundry hung out in the sun.

Running Away

I was running, death in my heart,

Was running away to the end.

Dark angel, take me in your wings.

Wings of shadow, feathers of wind,

Take me into oblivion.

Can anyone catch me, hold me,

On my flight to the world's end?

Can anyone save me from these

Wings of shadow, feathers of wind

Taking me to oblivion?

Singing to me at the world's end,

A man in black, farther in flight,

Despairing of his lost wings,

The sky now so far above him.

Oh, mine! This lonely heart is mine.

I was running, death in my heart,

Was running away to the end.

There I found you, there you left me,

With all my mourning never done

For losses left far behind me.

I was running, death in my heart,

Was running away to the end.

Dark angel, take me in your wings.

Wings of shadow, feathers of wind,

Taking me to oblivion.

Sea Of Tears

What are words to say what you mean to me;
Only you saw me, only you heard me -
When I was hidden, when I couldn't speak.

I have no words, only a sea of tears.
Into the sea I am diving, not drowning,
Down through the blue and green sunrays shift through,

Diving towards the dark below, where lays
A sunken treasure, a golden casket,
A music box with a turning dancer.

Lift up the mirrored lid - a little girl
Dances her delight, dances her being,
Love she has no words for she is dancing.

What are words to say what you mean to me;
You spoke to me as no one ever had,
You showed your self to me as no one else.

Mine

[after Emily Dickenson]

Mine by the right of the heraldic vision!

Mine by the turning sword!

Mine by the fatal altar laid upon,

Undone, dismantled!

Mine, in reception of the flaring word!

Mine against Death's allure,

In final admission - answered!

Mine, though rift, refound!

Scoundrel

Taken away by a scoundrel,

My knight, my prince, is gone.

The scoundrel everyone knows,

I knew the other; noble, royal!

The scoundrel stood dead drunk;

Proud, straight, clear minded, stood the knight.

The scoundrel scoffed God,

For humankind the knight stood right.

The scoundrel gests obscene;

Such grace, my prince, so noble!

The scoundrel is a liar,

The prince bears the blazon of truth.

Was it the scoundrel took

Away my prince - or he, the knight,

Saved me from the scoundrel?

Either way, blame's on the latter.

My knight, my prince, is gone,

And all because of a scoundrel.

Vanished

My voice at times vanishes,

Buried in a question, or

Caught in a crevice of my heart.

Sometimes struggling to be freed

As a moth from a cocoon.

At times stretched like a hand

To hold the expanse and depth

Of the ocean - grasp the wind.

My voice sometimes vanishes

In the immeasurable

Distance between myself

And the other - as I listen.

Gone To Hell

I have been there with you,

At your side in your descent;

All you wanted I gave,

Going ever further down,

And I have wept for it.

Why should I cry, why care -

The sorrow taking me

In it's arms - a lover

To take me away from you.

"Betray him," said sorrow.

"Leave him to his descent

To hell, let him lose and lose.

Love will never change this -

Though what you sought is there

Within him - it is lost."

Those around me repeat

The awful refrain; "It is lost!"

And I have wept for it.

I had offered my blood

And my tears to save you.

Would you have me join you,

Going down the road to hell -

Would you have me lose all

I have, as you have lost - yet

You laugh in the nightmare.

I remain in the land

Of the living as you go

Down the road all alone.

I weep in painful anger

For your descent to hell.

Wings

Take your wings, my angel -

Of shimmering quicksilver,

Pinions of moonlight
To carry you through the night.

Take your wings, my angel -

Once again fly destiny's
Long course across the sky,
Through the clouds, against the wind.

Take your wings, my angel,

Lift and spread their weight and breadth -
Soar through scattered stars,
Turning towards dawn's promise.

Take your wings, my angel,
Out of darkness bring your fire.
Come, bringer of light, sing -
Angel, flame on in your flight.

Pas De Deux

We dance on the edge

A pas de deux -

You raise me up

In proud élan -

You are my knight,

I your lady.

Turn me with grace,

Draw me to you -

Desired, I

Am on my knees,

Subject before you.

Extend your hand -

I open out

In arabesque.

Turn around - I

Run in despair

From you, circle

Back to you - leap,

Again lifted,

In vertigo -

On the edge between

Our worlds apart
We dance a pas de deux.

Found

My heart was lost to me, hidden

Away in a box, perhaps deep

Down under the sea, maybe left

Forgotten in some sad old house

In a corner or a cupboard.

So forgotten I didn't know

It wasn't there; just messages

And the pull of desperation...

Had I given it to Death, then,

That dark romantic seducer?

Wandering, for what not knowing,

Some distant voice, a reflection.

Then through a simple miracle

As may happen every day,

Like the sunrise, like coming home,

I found my heart, passion and song.

Pirate

A pirate plundered my heart,
Sailed away on the wide sea.
I had wined and dined him,
Given him willingly my gold,
Took him wantonly in my bed
So taken by his wicked charm.
Though he used me thoroughly
He has my heart, forgiven,
For I know what is ruling him.
He lost all he ever had for
Demon drink and a pirates life.
He is lost and sad and lonely,
Sailed away on the wide sea,
And has taken my heart away.

Alla Vita Alla Morte

You I recognize as one
Of Dionysus' holy band.
I, too, once served him well;
Musician - play, sing the song,
Drink the wine until it's gone,
I shall dance in the revel!
There are those that serve him
In mirth and light spirit -
They are not the holy ones,
Little weight to their service.
But you, I know, serve with all
Your sore soul, dedication
Down to the last drop, to death.

Night Lights

I love the lamps and lights of night,
Planes of shadow, areas of light,
Rhythm of rectangles, shades
Of gray on to black, walls and windows,
Of the incandescents' soft yellow,
Of television blue, flourescent white,
Along the blocks, among the trees,
Interior intimacies shining
In every street and corner
Through the anonymity of the night.